First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
