dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
