shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
