You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
