My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No subtext here. People are naked.
should my penis look like a turkey
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
