Don't you send me to vm
I love black thongs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
