I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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