So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize