I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
