everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
