I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
