I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
