He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
