Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
