Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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