there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
