what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my shit smells like andre
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
