She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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