Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
