respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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