Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
