Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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