Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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