Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
