Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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