I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
