how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
