He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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