David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
