Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
