I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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