I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
