no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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