Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
