update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
