the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
