so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Who died my cat blue again?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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