with your own penis?
too bad you live with your parents still
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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