i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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