Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
