operation harelip BJ is a go
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
