you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
