I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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