member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She bit a glass in half.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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