I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize