Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
