i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
