omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize