remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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