Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
