Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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