i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
