she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
