I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
