Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
