No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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