is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize