A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
