She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
