Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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