i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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