theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
