I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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