oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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