how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
