Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
