Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
