So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
