Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
